Redefining Ourselves in New Life Stages

Dear Marta,

It came to our attention recently that our About Claudia and About Dani pages were sorely out-of-date. However, rather than quietly updating them (as we have in the past), we decided that this time the moment deserved a bit of a spotlight.

We each find ourselves at a crossroads of sorts in which we’re redefining how we think of ourselves amid many life changes. As such, it feels like a perfect invitation to update our bios here on the blog (you can find Dani’s here and Claudia’s here), and also to take a deeper dive into what all is going into the identity shifts we’ve felt as of late.

More than anything, we see this as a beautiful opportunity for self-reflection, but we also hope you’ll enjoy reading about how we want to define ourselves going forward. As always, we appreciate you joining us on this wild ride we call life.

 

Where we’re at in 2025

Before we get into the personal thought processes, let’s back up and provide a bit of context. Where do we find ourselves in 2025?

Well, Dani is still living in southern Spain, but she’s relocated to a new city twice since starting the blog and now calls a coastal town in the province of Málaga her home. Claudia has also relocated twice since the early days of Sincerely, Spain and now calls a small, countryside town in Finland her home.

Dani got married in late 2018 and Claudia got married in early 2023, and we each currently have a little one under two years old. Expanding our families and becoming moms has had a huge impact on each of our identities, but that’s not the only thing that has shifted.

As Dani shared in her recent post, she and her husband purchased what they view as their “forever home” at the end of 2024. The process of moving and settling into a new place with a toddler has been a whirlwind. Although the new house is only a twenty minute drive from where they lived before, starting over in terms of community-building has very much been necessary. Inevitably, meeting new people brings to mind how we wish to present ourselves and has highlighted to Dani just how much things have changed for her.

Claudia can relate to that because she ended up moving to a small, countryside town just when she realized she was pregnant. Establishing her new life with her husband and small child has not always felt smooth and the journey continues to unravel. At the beginning of this year, Claudia also started a new job and while it is a great opportunity to learn and grow, both as a person and a professional, she is now also balancing her home life with often feeling a bit of imposter syndrome at work.

Finally, it would feel remiss not to also mention that, as we each continue to live abroad, we find ourselves far away from our extended families. While this is not a part of our identities that has necessarily shifted in recent times, it feels more relevant and note-worthy since becoming mothers. If we were living in the same places as our parents, we imagine we would be leaning on them significantly. Instead, our current circumstances require us to be more independent as a family unit (while also being more dependent on our partners in different ways) than before.

How we’re choosing to define ourselves now

Dani

So, who is 2025 Dani? In all honesty, she feels harder to define. My priorities have shifted a lot since we first started the blog, but especially in the last two years as I’ve prepared for and become a mother. While I still love and care about this blog as well as my author career, I wouldn’t claim ‘writer’ or ‘blogger’ as one of my top identities right now.

So what would I claim? I kinda don’t know…labels are hard. My main job at the moment is raising our little one and I take my role very seriously. At the same time, I deeply crave and need to feel connected with other facets of myself too.

Adjusting to my role as ‘Mama’ was pretty all-consuming for the first year and so in 2025 my husband and I have really been playing with our schedules to prioritize getting even a little bit of time each day for me to reconnect with myself. Sometimes, this time involves creative or blog writing but (more often than not) it involves simply sitting down with my journal, doing a Yoga with Adriene video, watching a comfort show, or something else to fill up my cup.

Prior to having a child, activities like these felt like non-negotiables. More recently, I am relearning their importance as I remind myself how they can make me feel more nurtured as a whole, allowing me to show up in each of my roles with more energy, love, and motivation.

Likewise, I have been on a journey of rewiring my beliefs around the sort of tasks my days are filled with. With the help of my good friend, ChatGPT, I decided to don myself with the title “Chief Executive Provisioner.” The desire for such a moniker came about because I have a tendency to feel like I’m ‘wasting’ so much time on something as basic as food when, in reality, I believe my family’s nutrition is of the utmost importance. I’m spending a lot of time on it because it’s one of my core values.

No one in my family can do anything they need to do without the well-balanced sustenance that I provide with love each day. Furthermore, I’m teaching my little one how to nourish themself for years to come. That work is far from insignificant. With that perspective in mind, I now take far more pride and care with my meal plans, trips to the local mercadillo (farmer’s market), food prep, and cooking. This year, I’ve decided to consciously place more value on this sort of work, which I often used to overlook.

Overall, I am still wrestling with redefining myself each day. In many ways, it’s been challenging for me to value myself without feeling like I fully know myself. I have definitely changed since becoming a mom, but the nuances of this new version of me can still be allusive. I’ve learned that I hold some subconscious beliefs and negative associations with particular words that I didn’t realize I held before. Stay-at-home mom? Homemaker? Full-time mom? While any of these would describe me in this life chapter, none of them feel quite right to me.

However, if forced to choose, I think I would go with ‘homemaker’ because it feels like it encompasses the work I do as a mama, but also as an expat and a wife. Creating a sense of home and community has always been important to me, as evidenced by the many posts I have written over the years about home, friendship, and community.

Now more than ever, I feel that the daily, dedicated work I do in this area of my life is vital. With every choice I make, I am creating ‘home’ for my family. The significance of that can feel like a lot to begin with, and starting over when we moved to a new town was even more overwhelming. Thankfully, I have found ways to create new habits that support me in this endeavor.

In our new town, I have decided to be the sort of person who goes to the local mercadillo each week to buy fresh produce and flowers for our home, who chats up other parents at the park, and who spends time outside with my little one everyday. (Yes, these have all been a bit derailed by seasonal allergies, but because of the conscious habit-building I’ve done alongside this redefinition, I feel confident I will return to more consistency when I can.)

I could clearly go on and on and still not feel I’ve fully or properly defined current Dani. Perhaps the truth is this: what defines me at this stage of life is simply being a woman who puts thought and conscious effort into how she wants to define herself.

 

Claudia

The 2025 version of Claudia is braver and more resilient than any previous version of her would have imagined. Together with my core team—aka my husband and child—I feel like every week brings something new, whether it’s a new feeling, a new experience, or just growing pains. This is often incredible and exhausting; amazing and frustrating; fun and a lot of work. The dichotomy of holding two parts of the same whole has definitely become something I feel I am practicing all the time.

Not to mention that while I have discovered that while I can survive on less-than-optimal amounts of sleep, I am a better version of myself when I sleep more. This means many of the projects that used to be a priority in my life are finding themselves on the back burner for those moments when I have the capacity to move them forward. This blog is one of those projects, which I still love and care about, but not as much as other things at the moment. This is part of “the frustrating” for me—caring for myself while letting go of things I would want to do if I could.

Figuring out who I want to be and how I want to spend my time has become a big focus of this new era of my life and I am diving into this uncertainty with a plethora of support in the form of books, podcasts, and honest conversation. Being pregnant was hard for me (in more ways than one) but it has also given me two of the greatest gifts: my beautiful child and the inspiration to reconnect with myself, deeper than I have ever gone before.

And like Dani I am finding new ways to pour myself into tasks that seem more important now that we have a little one around. Things like cooking take on a whole new importance not only because there is a hangry little monster hanging around (our little one takes after me), but also because how we eat now sets the foundation for a lifetime. I have also really gotten into gardening this year because nothing beats getting outside, whatever the weather, and putting my hands in the dirt. Our little one is fearless and touches all plants and sticks most things in their mouth. It is truly a gift to experience these old routines in new ways.

 

Resources we’re turning to

Dani

EmpowerHER: This is a podcast that I have followed for years, but the fact that the host had a baby just a few weeks after I did means that I have felt very identified with her journey and the arc of the show over the past few years. With the tagline of “come with me, let’s figure out life together,” Kacia unapologetically shares about her life, decisions, and struggles in real time. It has been really valuable for me to see a successful entrepreneur putting her family and herself ahead of her business–and trusting that that will only make her more successful in the long-run.

Women in the Nude: As a long time Pretty Little Liars fan, I checked out actress Sasha Pieterse’s podcast on a bit of a whim but I absolutely love the real and raw conversations between women that she facilitates on this show. While not focused specifically on motherhood, I seem to find episodes that really speak to me on that topic. And it has been particularly beautiful for me to hear from women I “grew up with” (aka the PLL cast) about their transformation as mothers too.

The Power Pause: I’ll be honest, I am still in the early part of this non-fiction book but I’ve heard such great things and can tell from EmpowerHER’s the interview with the author that there is a lot of valuable insight to be gained from this guide to taking a Power Pause–an intention step away or downscale of paid work during new motherhood.

My Tribe Care: I only found this Instagram account in the last month, but I feel so seen and understood every time I see a new post for them. It’s run by two psych nurse practitioners who work with new moms. Their page is pretty new and they’re still only building out their interactive community but so far I am really enjoying what they have to offer.

One-on-one therapy: Finally, it would be disingenuous of me to list out my top resources at the moment without mentioning the great value I get from my weekly online therapy sessions. As we’ve shared previously, there really is something different about being able to talk to a professional one-on-one. While all of the above resources are ones I’d recommend, getting personalized support is the number one thing I’ve done for my mental health and sense of self.

 

Claudia

I spend so much of my time at work and, with the exception of the odd hour here and there, I try to spend the rest with my family, which means the few hours a day I get to myself (usually after bedtime) are priceless moments where I can nourish myself. Accompanying me during my “me time” are some of the following resources.

Podcasts:
I listen to podcasts as a “mindless multitasking,” by which I mean an add-on to moments where I can afford to let my brain wander. These are mostly when I am running, walking home from dropping my little one at daycare, or commuting to / from work. Because I consider tending to my energy as one of the most important parts of my self-care at the moment, these are all uplifting, spiritual or inspiring.

Intuition Academy: I worked with Kaila briefly several years ago and have followed her podcast carefully ever since. This year she is updating regularly and I am so grateful for it. Every episode feels like a gift, full of knowledge and good vibes. I always end the show with a smile on my face. 10/10 recommend if you are looking for an uplifting, spiritual listen.

The Lively Show: This show has been a part of my life for years, from when Dani and I used some of Bella’s work to help us start the blog until now, when I listen for a feeling of peace and alignment. If you dive in to the archives, you can learn a lot, from building a business to finding your inner voice. It always delivers high vibes and leaves me feeling calm.

The Happiness Lab: I am sure I have shared about the Happiness Lab with Dr Laurie Santos before but this year she has a new season all about parenting. I am looking forward to hearing what the experts have to say and reflecting on how I want to incorporate the advice into my life.

Journalling: I used to journal three pages every morning. Now, every night before I go to bed, I try to write at least one page, longhand in my spiral bound notebook, about the day, my feelings, or anything else that comes to mind. This is a way of emptying my mind of any random or circling thoughts. It doesn’t always work but it is always worth a try. Not to mention, it helps me ritualize my slow down process, followed by a book (see more below).

Books: I also try to read every evening before I go to bed. My husband and I even try to keep our room a “no technology zone” (no phones, no computers) and it is the perfect excuse to curl up with a good book once I am too tired to journal any more. I usually have two or three books going at the same time. One is usually a “spiritual” or self-help book, one is a book I read to learn, and one is a light book. You can find a lot of the books I enjoyed in 2024 in this post.

Talking with others: There is something to be said about all those things we don’t talk about. Like how hard it is to be a parent, and how you feel like you don’t even know who you are any more or who you want to be. Or questions that are relevant to all people like talking about money and mental health. I don’t have all the answers—or even any answers—when I bring up these topics but I have been trying to bring up more hard conversations even more now because I feel like when we talk about hard things we learn that we are all facing similar situations. It may seem silly but not “feeling alone” is sometimes enough to pick me up and remind me how strong and resilient I actually am right now. And hopefully it helps the person I have been talking with remember that too.

 

In conclusion

When we started the blog in our mid-twenties in 2017, we were in an entirely different chapter of each of our lives. Looking back from where we are now, almost 8 years later, it’s easy to pinpoint just how much has changed.

And yet, as we often find when examining life changes, we can’t help being reminded how many things have also remained the same. Our love for Spain, our understanding of living abroad, our appreciation for community building, and our constant desire to thrive are just a few of the themes of this blog that remain touchstones of each of our lives.

Likewise, our friendship has changed while staying the same at its core. Over the last two years, it has blossomed in a beautiful, maybe even unexpected, way as we walk similar paths as new moms trying to redefine ourselves. We know we haven’t reached the end of the changes yet and we are glad for it because, while growth is hard, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sincerely,
Dani and Claudia