Confessions,  Expat Life in Spain,  Thriving

Accepting My Own Journey Part II

Dear Sarah,

Happy 2025! I hope the new year is treating you well. Year-long intention-setting isn’t resonating for me this January, and so I won’t be sharing a Letter to a New Year for 2025. However, I still wanted to share a bit about how I’m doing personally and what’s going on behind the scenes for me. Interestingly, this seemed to align quite a lot with what I shared in the 2018 article, Accepting My Own Journey, so I have decided to consider this Part II.

 

My late 2024 reality

As you may know from following along for a while, I am a new mother who welcomed a little one at the end of 2023 and I still very much feel like I am adapting to my new, all-consuming role. This postpartum period has brought a lot of ups and downs for me. It has been challenging to figure out who I am (and who I want to be) in this season of my life. Not the least because many of the things I used to turn to in order to balance, reflect, and feel ‘me’–long walks alone, multi-hour journaling sessions, lengthy morning routines–are no longer feasible. Instead, there are constantly a hundred things that I could/should be doing to keep our little one alive and well. In light of the pressures of parenthood, I’ve been struggling to remember who I am at my essence.

On top of that, my husband and I bought and moved into a beautiful new home at the end of 2024. The process was super fast, especially for Spain, but has also felt nerve-ending. The new house and subsequent move have been a major focus of our lives since mid-October and it’s only now (in mid-January) that we’ve finalized the moving process and are able to come up for air. It’s been a lot to juggle in our non-native language, particularly as new parents with no family living in the country. (Thank goodness my parents were in Spain for the stage of buying our house and doing the initial move!)

In light of so many changes, including saying goodbye to my parents after a two-month stay (the longest time our little one has ever had with extended family), I’ve had to make a lot of adjustments lately in what everyday life looks like. Re-reckoning with being a family of three here in Spain has brought on a new bout of ambiguous expat grief but it has also opened the door for new inspiration. I definitely find myself in a transition period in which energy is shifting and I am beginning to re-focus on the things that matter to me at this moment in time.

 

And I find it interesting…

When I first sat down to write this article, I was fully ready to explain it all as a new season unlike any other I’ve ever experienced. And it is. But also, when I read back on the original Accepting My Own Journey article, I realized that so much of what I set out to say in this post is the same!

That’s wild to me, because it FEELS entirely new and different. I feel entirely new and different, and I’ve been struggling to accept this version of myself. And yet, looking back has allowed me to make a powerful reflection. Just as I said back in 2018, I have been pulling away from relationships and seeking out fewer social plans as of late. I haven’t thought about improving my Spanish or making new friends in ages. I feel twinges of guilt and disappointment for all of those things but you want to know something interesting?

Despite using a lot of the same tactics to get through this challenging time as I did seven years ago, I find it far easier now to grant myself grace and understanding. Although my surface-level reaction is often to feel bad, on a deeper level I truly do accept that not only is this what I’ve needed to support myself, but positive change really is right around the corner.

In retrospect, I can tell you that back in 2018, I wrote the blog post as a reminder to myself that it was okay and to convince myself that I needed to accept my own journey. Today, I share this all with you ACTUALLY accepting my own journey and already seeing the positive ramifications of that acceptance. It’s a unique experience to feel so comforted by seeing the similarities to my past self as well as the ways I’ve grown.

 

My 2025 Reality

As I write this, I’ll be honest with you– it feels almost too good to be true, too neat and tidy. I thought I was going to write a post while I was in-the-thick of it, being raw and vulnerable about trying to figure all this messy stuff out. But this is my truth: in the nine days since I started writing this post, I’ve truly undergone an energy shift.

For months, I’ve been riding the ups and downs of my postpartum experience. There have been many highs–which is what most others see, since those are the photos and stories we tend to share as a society–but the lows have really knocked me down. I’ve found myself lacking motivation, direction, and self-confidence. I’ve felt sad, frustrated, and unlike myself.

However, whether thanks to our recent address change, the new calendar year, or my new commitment to intentions that align with this current leg of my journey, I feel differently now. I’ve finally found the energy and inspiration to look at things through a different lens and that’s opened me up to receive helpful advice and nudges from the universe.

I really do believe that ideas come when the timing is right for us to take them on and I am so grateful for all the sparks of joy and motivation my community has given me lately. To name a few…

  • Claudia recommended Gabby Bernstein’s interview on the Jamie Kern Lima Show and I actually listened (something I often wasn’t doing a few months ago when friends would make recommendations) and it struck a chord. I may even read her new book, Self Help.
  • Enjoying that podcast got me reconnecting with my own favorite podcasts and binge-listening to all of the 2025 episodes of EmpowerHER, reminding me just how much I am resonating with Kacia Ghetmiri’s vibe right now (something I really couldn’t say just a few months ago when I WANTED to feel like she did at the same point postpartum as me, but I did not). And in her most recent one she recommended the book she’s reading, The Let Them Theory, and boy did that sound like it would resonate!
  • Another friend sent me information on The Power Pause, a new book which came recommended (via one of her mailing lists) “to any mom who’s currently undergoing identity shifts post-baby” and I instantly thought “yup, that’s for me!” In the not-so-distant past, I may have even been resistant to the idea of a book about embracing a pause on my career for motherhood (despite that being exactly what I’ve done), but my newfound acceptance is allowing me to see so much more positive in my life choices right now than ever before.

There have been so many new ideas like these floating around for me already in 2025 and I am HERE for them. I don’t yet know which paths I’ll wander down a bit, which one I’ll commit to till the end, and which I’ll choose not to take, but I’m not all that concerned with the answers. Right now, accepting my journey means celebrating just being excited again. I am seeing possibilities for myself and feeling capable of choosing them.

I am proud to say that 2025 me is far more accepting of my own journey. Granted, it is still hard for me. I still struggle with some part of it almost every day. But I also feel far more connected to my inner knowing–that wise part of me that understands and accepts without questioning. I got out of sync with that inner voice over the last year, but by accepting that this leg of the journey truly is meant to be different, I’m now finding myself able to tune in again and for that I am so grateful!

I’m wishing you all inspiration, pride, and joy in 2025 as well. How’s the year looking for you so far? Let me know in the comments!

Sincerely,
Dani

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